You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
