Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
