wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
