is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
