Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
