What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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