My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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