why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
