Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
