i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
