ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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