every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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