just come out here and I will go home with you...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
