Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
