i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
