Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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