help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
