Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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