Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
