so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
