I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
