Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
