Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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