I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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