Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
