I hope mine doesn't look like that
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
