And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Panties = found
Randomize
