So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
