The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
