If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
