i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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