omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
