dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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