yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
