So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
