Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
