i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
