me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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