last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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