Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
