took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
