I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
