dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
this is an emotional support booty call
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
