i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
