Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
