Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
