...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
