Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
