Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
