you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
