Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
