im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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