You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
