Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
